Monday, August 3, 2020

I'll Never Get A Real Hot Dog

Dusty Quinn
My old girl has decided to do some training – of me.  Personally, I see no need.  I pee and poop in my yard, never chew on anything that isn’t mine, mostly stay away from the cat’s bowls, don’t jump on people, don’t even shed.  Think I sound pretty perfect.  So I don’t always come when called - I’m just having fun, teasing her by running in circles in the yard, no harm there.  But it seems my girl wants me to pay attention to her call, stop the merriment and go directly to where she’s standing.  Will admit she’s devised a pretty good tactic.  She says “Hot Dog,” I perk right up and prance over and she gives me that yummy treat that only appears if I come when called.  So we get into this routine, she says “Hot Dog” and I go right to her and get a little sliver of delicious.  Since it seems the only time I’m going to get this special goodie is when she says “Hot Dog,” I've decided it’s worth it to stop playing around when I hear those words.  But then an odd thing happened.  The other human in our home, the one who gives me, Will and Abner our crunchy nighttime treats, comes out to the yard.  He’s very impressed with my obedience.  “What’s that new treat you’re giving him?” he asks.  “A little piece of gluten-free, vegetarian hot dog. Dusty really likes it,” my old girl replies.  I notice male human scrunching up his face. Wonder why that is?   “Sweetie,” he says with a sly grin, “He may like it, but there’s no way you can call that a real hot dog.”  What does he mean it’s not a hot dog?  What is she feeding me?  What do I do about this development?  Well, whatever that morsel is, it’s pretty good, guess for now I’ll stick with the program. 


After battling a number of odd, unexplained health symptoms, I changed my diet to gluten-free.  That was four years ago and I’ve never felt better, never looked back.  Honestly don’t know if I have a wheat sensitivity or a pesticide issue.  That’s a discussion for a different day.   I also became a vegetarian because I don’t believe animals need to die to feed me.   So since I think consuming wheat is ill-advised on several levels, my pet’s diets are gluten-free as well, but I have no plans to turn them into vegetarian critters.  From what I’ve read, a vegetarian diet is doable for pets, but needs to be done with care.  Since it may not be as good for them as food with some animal protein in it, I’m sticking with just gluten-free.   Dusty’s grain-free main food (a combination of dry and wet) has chicken, turkey and lamb along with vegetables.  Cats Abner and William have salmon and brown rice in their grain-free kibble and turkey and/or tuna in their moist food.  Crunchy treats are gluten-free as well.  The hot dogs I bought to use as a training tool are actually for human consumption and came about when I couldn’t find anything I liked in the pet food aisle.  The people food lunch meat and wiener aisle wasn’t much better.   After reading the laundry list of questionable ingredients in all of the “real” hot dogs for humans, I opted for the gluten-free vegetarian.  No plans to get on a soapbox about the horrible stuff in some of our food (although I easily could).  I’ll just agree that the hot dogs I bought aren’t really hot dogs and as far as I’m concerned that’s a good thing.

She means well, wants only the best for us.  So I’ll come when she says “Hot Dog” even though I now know I’ll never get a real hot dog from this woman.  And maybe she’s right about it being a good thing.